Wednesday, May 06, 2009

The Captain Needs Some Female Advice and Help

Beloved Captain Capitalismites of the Femme Fatale persuasion,

I have entered a sort of "Most Eligible Bachelor" competition here in Minneapolis and as luck would have it, I made it past the first round.

The next step is to go in for a photo-shoot where I was instructed by the photographer to show up with the attire for TWO THEMES. I asked her "what kind of themes?" She said, "The themes where you are at your best."

I have decided one theme, which will be my standard Cary Grant/Frank Sinatra classic suit and tie. I shall also perhaps bring a cigar as they are very evil, and well, frankly, girls even though publicly they may "claim" they don't like cigars and cigars are "icky" they can't help the fact I'm being a "rebel" and breaking the rules which will of course help me win.

However the second theme I am having trouble with and thusly would appreciate your opinion.

Option #1 - The Rugged Indiana Jones Fossil Hunting Paleontologist - I will wear my hiking gear, trim my beard down to a rugged 5 o'clock shadow, my patented fossil hunting hat (kind of like Indiana Jone's has his hat, I have mine) and whatever else I can think of that I bring whilst conducting my expeditions

Option #2 - Old WWII Fighter Pilot Motif - I have an authentic WWII fighter pilot uniform, bomber jacket and all that I use when I go out dancing at the annual hangar dances. I fear it is too similar to the suit and tie, Cary Grant classic attire, but it was a theme recommended by friends.

In any case, I have to go in on the 13th. Any preferences or opinions would be appreciated. Also part of the judging will be done on the internet, so of course I'll be calling all economists of the
femme fatale persuasion to come and vote for lil' ole me once I find out the details.

Post Update - OK, here's some pictures, hopefully this will provide some reference;




14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Option 1

Hydrick said...

Indiana Jones - Not only do girls dig Indy, but you actually go digging for fossils, which makes the look that much more authentic, and thus that much more appealing.

Mary Martha said...

As I am a swing dancer and WWII reenactor I would say go for the uniform... but I am a bit biased. I will say that I don't know one woman who doesn't like a man in a uniform.

If you have a chance to explain the outfit (ie - this is what bachelor X wears when swing dancing) then I would absolutely go for it because getting the fact out there that you dance is always a good thing. Women like a man who can and will dance.

The 'Indiana Jones' look is good if you look like Harrison Ford. Otherwise you might end up just looking like a nebbish professor. An associated 'fossil hunting' explanation would be less helpful. I am sure some woman would find that appealing/interesting... but not nearly as many as those who want a dancing partner.

TiamoInfidels said...

I am going with WWII Uniform. I think women are looking for "real" men and not the metrosexual these days. Not that Indy is Metro, he is a Man's Man however, the Military has "Real" men and "Real" Hero's. That is Sexy!

Anonymous said...

Uniform. Definitely.

Anonymous said...

I also say go with the WWII fighter pilot. I also agree with Mary Martha, if you get a chance to explain a bit about each uniform, then mentioning the swing dancing will be an extra bonus.

However, one of the reasons I didn't pick the paleontologist outfit is because it reminds me too much of the hyper-active yuppie I'm-don't-NEED-civilization-that's-why-I-drive-30-miles-to-hike-in-the-most-expensive-hi-tech-gear-I-can-afford-instead-of-going-to-the-local-park types I ran across in Oregon. And from what you've said about women in the Minneapolis area, looking like a yuppie green type might be a plus.

daniel_ream said...

K, not a woman, but take it from a geek who goes to cons. Trying to look like a *type* is always more socially acceptable than trying to look like a specific *character*. Plus, the real stand-up dames go for a joe who's a class act and cleans up real sharp.

Anonymous said...

Dress metrosexual. Quality women of hip urban area's really appreciate this.

Anonymous said...

None of those. Go with faded Wrangler jeans, boots, snap western shirt, and big buckle belt. Get a 10x bull-rider's hat to complete the outfit.
Girls love cowboys (gentlemen who can rope and ride, and ofcourse, "swing dance".
IMHO

TiamoInfidels said...

Okay, now having seen the photos of each.... Definitely the WWII Uniform!

I will quote Patton to support my supposition...

Capy Cap you son of a bitch! I read your Book!

Anonymous said...

Captain

Just put a bag over your head.

Econmom said...

Gotta go with the Indiana Jones theme. But for gadsake, get a really cool authentic looking outfit!

Anonymous said...

If women are the judges, make sure you have quality shoes. Plus, a good sized pinkie ring, expensive watch and match up the cuff links.

Cassie Wallender said...

WWII uniform. Classic. :-)