Wednesday, May 13, 2009

If You Paid Half as Much Attention to Government as You Did Sports

I am old.

Or at least that is what I am told by the 20 somethings who tend bar at my favorite watering hole in my favorite town.

I am old.

I am also reliably informed that I am nerdy.

Never mind that I'm quite dashing. Never mind that I can dance the night away with any femme fatale I want. Never mind that I have probably had more than my fair share of dates with the local lovelies.

No, I'm a nerd.

And the reason I'm a nerd is that when I walk into my favorite bar, it is a 100% guarantee that the "game" is on. And it is also a 100% guarantee that all the 20 something staff, either on or off duty are watching the game. And when I walk into the bar and ask, "So is that team with the blue jersey's going to try to hit the ball with the wood stick harder than the team with the red jerseys are?"

"Boy, I sure hope he runs fast around that diamond in the dirt they placed for him there."

"Ooo! Look, one set of guys on skates are trying to hit the black disc into a net while A SEPARATE GROUP OF GUYS try to do the same, but to the other net! What chaos will ensue?"

"Wow! I hope the guys in the gray throw the orange sphere into the circle more than the guys in the purple do!"

It is a practical guarantee I am lectured, "Dude, you're such a nerd! Don't you know who that is! That's JOE MAUER!"

I then sarcastically point to the idiot in the bar wearing a Joe Mauer jersey with "MAUER" on the back and say, "Well wait, how can Joe Mauer be on the TV swinging the wooden stick when he's sitting at the bar."

Of course the larger intellectual point is lost on these twenty somethings, but that's just the point.

Watching sports is stupid.

Playing them, well now that's fun. There's a purpose in that. You get exercise, you get to play and have fun, there's also good ole fashioned competition. But to sit there and buy a $60 jersey and pin your happiness and hopes on one group of guys with white jerseys throwing the ball further than the other group of guys in the blue jerseys is bordering insane.

But here is an interesting thought, and one I cannot claim I concocted for I heard it on the Michael Medved show,

"What if people paid half the amount of attention to government than they do sports?"

Well I'll tell you what would happen, the country would not be in recession right now. Matter of fact, it may never be in recession again. For you see this is a democracy (anybody e-mailing me about this being a republic will be summarily ignored) and if the masses are ignorant and stupid, then the government is also going to be ignorant and stupid. Conversely if the masses are informed and educated, then the government would implement sound and effective laws and policies and standards of living would easily reach $250,000 income per capita.

However, this is not the case. People much rather watch a pointless score of how many times a rubber disc was shot across the ice and into another team's net than they would calculate the government deficit as a percent of GDP. People would much rather in a twisted (or perhaps complete lack of) logic apply relevancy of a football team's performance to their own personal lives than the tax rate they pay. People would much rather pin their success and happiness on the outcome of a basketball game than they would taking stewardship in this democracy, informing themselves about the issues, and in their citizenship duty vote in a competent government that would make effective decisions that would improve the lot of society.

In short, people would rather talk about Joe Mauer's batting average (which does not affect their lives in the slightest) than the medicare crisis (which most certainly will.)

Now, normally one would chalk this up to economics being "boring" and what "nerd" would want to talk about economics? However this moldy, boring study of economics seems to be getting a little bit more play and relevancy. As more and more people are being laid off and more and more of the dads of the 20 somethings are losing their jobs, now the kiddies are starting to realize there is the potential, though remote, that they might actually have to save some of their check to pay for rent instead of blowing it on booze in that there is the remote possibility daddy will not pay it for them (as daddy just recently was foreclosed upon or lost his job). Or that the tips are not coming in as much as the bar is only half as full as it used to be and people are tipping half as much.

Now of course we're a long way from 20 somethings putting as much effort into studying the federal budget as much as they do their fantasy football picks, but soon the desperation of the economy will more or less compel them to set the Iphonepoddiamondblue/blackberry down and maybe think or at least ponder, "Gee, how am I going to pay for my Crackberry Bill?"

Of course, this is the just the first step in a long and tortuous journey of discovering the truth. Of course it is already too late as these 20 somethings like Prager and Medved will inevitably become "Me too" conservatives only after they've pissed their lives away voting for people to destroy their futures, because this process takes 10 years to undo all the brainwashing. But at least it's a start and maybe some day...some day...these 20 somethings, albeit 40 somethings by the time they realize it, will come around. Of course, by that time it will be too late, but at least they'll understand why the country collapsed.

Because we all cared more about whether Brett Favre was going to play for the Vikings versus whether Obama was bankrupting the nation by bailing out inept and incompetent corporations.

Now go buy those dumb ass big styrafoam hands with the "#1" on it and wear your jerseys and "support your team" while the rest of the country dies because of a lack of real men.

23 comments:

Hot Sam said...

2000 years ago, tens of thousands of people turned out regularly to watch gladatorial games and chariot races in Roman times. Centuries before that, people watched naked Greeks wrestle. People have always marvelled at the athletic feats of others.

During the reign of Justinian in the Byzantine Empire, tens of thousands of "sports" fans ceased fighting each other and stormed the royal box, angry over high taxes.

Justinian escaped, but the rioters continued to loot and pillage the city. Eventually, the Nika Riots were put down and 30,000 sports fans were killed. But that was a time when people would actually rise up against an oppressive dictator.

Imagine that - a riot over high taxes to murder the imperious leader. Only if...only if....

Today, our vaccuous, vapid voyeurs vicariously voice victory over vanquished villains via video.

YELLOWPLUSH said...

Fascinating contribution! I live in the North East of England - characterised by its massive public sector and almost fanatical dedication of its local football (soccer) fans. My main thesis has long been that public sector crowding out has, and continues to keep my region relatively less well-off than the rest of the UK. But your article has led me to a re-think. Maybe we are so cowed by public sector institutions here, and so focussed on meaningless sports performance, that we have lost all focus on the real issues of taking proper control of our futures? Very, very interesting

Martin Regnen said...

Watching sports is no stupider than reading a novel. I wrote an explanation of why a few months ago: http://www.corrupt.org/news/why_we_watch

Yeah, I like to annoy sports-haters.

Richard said...

I know you want to ignore this, but the reasons you cite are a major part of *why* we are a republic rather than a democracy: People are stupid. This realization led to such now-disdained, antidemocratic policies such as requiring property ownership to vote, only allowing men (as the federal head of their household) to vote, and (when not specifically contrived to oppress blacks) literacy tests. Letting stupid, un- or underinformed people, or those who have no property at stake vote leads to people who neither understand nor care what their government is doing or what it should be doing (the majority of people, generally) become the driving force in a democracy (or even in a republic, although the republican model tends to slow this progress unless, in a partisan environment, one party realizes it can buy itself power by empowering the stupid and ignorant with nothing at stake by giving them "free stuff"). When this happens, we see the garbage that government does today, and it is the rhetoric of democracy in our republic that has given elected officials cover to empower the ignorant majority over the informed minority.

jr in wv said...

My answer is always: "you know, I don't really enjoy watching people eat dinner or have sex either- I am kind of strange that way. I am much more of a do it yourself kind of guy than a sit on the couch and watch kind of guy..."

I have never had anyone come back with a coherent response...

Anonymous said...

I agree and I also believe economics should be a mandatory subject as part of the educational system,but....I still want to watch my sports. Sometimes it's a nice escape from reality.

Brandon said...

I don't know Captain, would a world in which idiots pay attention to there government be preferable to one in which they ignore it?

RateNerd said...

I think folks spend so much time on sports because its fun. Unlike the federal budget.

By the way, I am a "nerd" and proud of it!

Nathan Giesbrecht said...

Don't blame the sports Cap'n, it's the people's fault. There's no reason you can't sit and watch the game and have an educated conversation about whatever the topic-du-jour is. The problem is, as you've said yourself, that American culture has become completely stupid. The movie Idiocracy comes to mind (which someday may be considered to be a historical documentary).

The fact that President's can break any damn law they want, as long as they're "popular" with the people (think Chrysler bankruptcy, GWB post 9/11, etc.) is just one sure sign that your country is doomed.

One big reason I think that Canada is doing comparativley well through this recession is because our PM is probably one of the most disliked politicians of our time. This frees him from trying to pander to the masses, and lets him make the right decisions. Function over fashion.

Anyways, just wanted you

Anonymous said...

OK, I love your blog and I do believe this is the best thing you've written so far and right on TARGET.

Unknown said...

You're getting a lot more whiney with age. Just sayin'.

Captain Capitalism said...

@ Miller;

Verily.

Eric said...

One could say the same thing about playing video games, which I frequently hear the Captain brag about having the time to play since he is unmarried and childless. Just like watching sports, playing video games are mindless entertainment that accomplish nothing of real or lasting value.

That said, just because someone follows a sports team or plays video games doesn't mean they don't pay attention or care about the massive damage the government is doing to our country. I personally love to follow sports (although I do not listen to sports talk radio). I am also actively involved with a group trying to return the Republican Party to its small and limited government roots.

Captain Capitalism said...

But video games you are actually participating in.

Watching professional sports you are not.

Bill Gilles said...

The demise of a democracy always seems to be some sort of tipping point where an unsustainably large population realizes they can magically vote themselves stuff.

The masses who watch sports instead of politics... are they more likely to have common senses and realize wealth needs to be created through ingenuity and hard work? Or are they more likely to say... "So I can vote myself an iPod eh?"

Viva l'oppiate de la citoyens!

dtrum said...

But video games you are actually participating in.

Watching professional sports you are not.
So you mean it's OK to play ice hockey video games, but watching the Red Wings winning the Stanley Cup is pointless? Then you could say the same about watching sitcoms or other TV series. So should I become a real physician instead of watching the fake House MD?

Captain Capitalism said...

Dtrum,

What's the Stanley Cup?

JUST KIDDING.

No, again you are participating in a video game, you are not helping the Red Wings win. You are merely an observer.

However, playing SPORTS video games is where I draw the line. GO OUT AND PLAY THE ACTUAL GAME. The graphics don't get any better.

Hot Sam said...

The Stanley Cup is the trophy won by hockey teams in 2007, 2006, and 2004 that came from places which usually have no natural ice.

There are more than ten spelling errors on it.

Martin Regnen said...

jr in wv writes:

My answer is always: "you know, I don't really enjoy watching people eat dinner or have sex either- I am kind of strange that way. I am much more of a do it yourself kind of guy than a sit on the couch and watch kind of guy..."

I have never had anyone come back with a coherent response...
I lift weights and watch sports for completely different purposes. Their functions are not related to each other at all.

I'll happily watch sports I'm not interested in participating in - for example, football (or soccer, since this is an American's blog). Yeah, it's kinda fun but it burns too many calories and I don't like running around for 45 minutes. Boxing, too. I'm not interested in taking blows to the head even if I'm really good at it. But both have the potential to give me great dramatic tales of human struggle which are in a way less fake than a novel or a play because they are unscripted and the struggle is real.

AeroGuy said...

The thing that always causes me to hesitate wanting the sports/American idol watching crowd to pay more attention to the government is the fact that many if not most of them don't vote to begin with so they were doing us a favor by not bringing down the average IQ of the voting public. When they do get involved they tend to treat politics the same way as sports by rooting for the red ties over the blue ties. Me and my closest friends don't know jack about sports or the latest pop whatever and instead study political issues as if it was a hobby and have endless political debates. But for all that's worth I still voted for the worthless Republican and he still voted for the worthless Democrat. Another did a write in vote to demonstrate his disdain for the candidates which may have been the best choice. Rather than focus on government I do agree that people should be focusing on other useful things like economics (as opposed to Keynesian retardation), formal logic (since everyone is capable of rational thinking I think that behaving or thinking irrationally should be regarded the same insanity, taboo at best), and a through understanding of history.
Unfortunately what I've found is that the majority of people don't just dislike thinking they resent the very idea that they should think. Mind you this doesn't stop people from having opinions or being opinionated. If you question them and make the mistake of pressing them for sound logical reasons for why they have their beliefs, you would think you had told them you enjoy kicking dogs and drowning kittens. I have no faith in the sports watching masses, if we're lucky they'll be too busy spectating the red and blue jerseys to vote and spectate the red and blue ties like their "intellectual superiors". The entire system is cracking and in the process of buckling. I think Jefferson would say that this government had a good go and needs a revision, after all it wouldn't be the first time America had a major overhaul of it's government.
One more thing, I wish populism had a connotation ten times more vile than what we currently have for fascism and communism combined.

Anonymous said...

Who's more likely to vote for Obama, the frat boy at the sports bar, or the English grad student reading Milton in a coffee house behind her wire glasses?

Real socialism is the product of elites, without them there is only the mild mindless populism.

Anonymous said...

I must be an exceptional person, because I definitely pay more attention to government and politics than I do sports.

Hooray for the Republicans and Gov Pawlenty for blocking the DFLs huge tax increases.

Last year I watched only 1 NFL game - the Superbowl. I refuse to watch the NFL because their business model is one that holds major cities hostage for expensive stadiums that enrich 30 owners at the expense of the taxpayer, wile providing minimal economic benefit to the cities in which they reside. At least with MLB you the economic impact of a minimum of 81 home dates, but the economic of the NFLs 8 games w/ 2 exhibition jokes is very weak.

Albert said...

@jr in wv:

"My answer is always: 'you know, I don't really enjoy watching people eat dinner or have sex either- I am kind of strange that way. I am much more of a do it yourself kind of guy than a sit on the couch and watch kind of guy...'

I have never had anyone come back with a coherent response...
"

I'm going to assume you never watch motion pictures or television, attend the theater or listen to either live or recorded music. Why pay a moment's attention to the craft of top professionals when you can put on your own performances?

I'm also going to assume you surround yourself with a dim crowd, if no one has ever put forth the above to you.

I've heard Vengerov play Sibelius, and watched Bale's hat trick at the San Siro. That they're cut from the same cloth isn't an original thought of mine.

Any pastime can be detrimental if overindulged, and there is always a more optimal way to spend your time (especially by someone else's standard).

I'm going to assume you can actually conceptualize a difference between top professionals performing at the height of their talent and skill in a competitive field and the common man eating dinner, which leads me to believe self-congratulation is a pastime of yours.